My kids and I have been “off” for Christmas break, but honestly, it has not felt like a break. We may not have been doing the routine of school, but things were still busy. Between visiting friends and family and doing the little projects I have been putting off just for Christmas break — my Christmas break was full before it ever began.
Wednesday my kids were fighting with each other and it wasn’t the typical, “You broke my toy” or “You took that from me” argument. In the middle of my kids dispute I heard my oldest say, “It’s my turn to be with mom, you have already gotten to spend time with her!” and my youngest said, “It hasn’t been enough!”
I know this post could go a thousand different ways at this point, but I write this not so we can all get into “the been there done that” boat, but to share with you the insight God gave me in this moment.
After I heard my kids argument, I apologized for being too busy and distracted and I assured them that I had plenty of time for them and I would do better at managing my time. I also told them there was no need to fight over me.
At that point, I felt God say, “The same goes for you too.”
I have to confess, lately, I have been acting like my kids.
There have been times where I have been striving and scrapping spiritually for God’s time. I become jealous of my brothers and sisters in Christ, thinking “God has more time for them, than me.” Or, “He had more words to say to them than to me.” Or, “Does he love me as much as he loves them?” My perspective gets twisted, I begin to think that my time with him is limited and sporadic. When my thoughts are left unchecked I begin to believe that I am not good enough for him and have to earn his time and his presence.
Does that sound familiar or am I the only one?
The truth is, God’s response to these thoughts and feelings are, “Cease striving and know that I AM God.”
In other words, stop heading down that path, stop wasting your energy, your efforts and emotions on a lie.
The problem is, we often forget who He is.
He is God, the omnipresent. That means he is everywhere at every moment. He is not too busy for you and he is not too busy for me. He doesn’t have favorites…we are all precious to him. His time is not divided and it’s not sporadic. He is the God who sees you and hears you. He has not forgotten about you!
The truth is, we put human experiences on a supernatural God. Furthermore, we place blame on God for things that are our responsibility.
If we feel our time is limited with him, is it because we have put a limit on the time? If we feel like he is not speaking to us, is it because we are not listening, or we have closed off our hearts? If we feel like he is sporadic with us, is it because we have been sporadic with him?
I’m not suggesting God is keeping a tally and getting back at you, by treating you the way you have treated him. What I am suggesting is that the distance, could be because you stepped back. At least that is what my experience has been.
God has never stepped back from me, but I have frequently run from him.
You could be thinking, “Jessica why aren’t you dealing with the issue with your kids?” Good question.
I have learned that when my relationship with God is off, my relationship with my kids and husband is off. But when I center myself in God’s presence and let his truth wash over me, I begin to value what he values, and see things like he sees them. He helps me see what is truly important in the moments of my life.
So may you ceases striving and truly get to know the one who says, I Am God!
Until next time…