Have you ever believed that you were not enough, like you just didn’t measure up. This belief could pop up in your job, finances, relationships, body image, or with your own personal goals and standards?
So, what was your response? Did you throw yourself into working over time to keep from hearing that phrase again? Did you go into “repair mode” trying to cover up holes in your life so nobody else would think you were not enough? Did you sacrifice your values to avoid, “your not enough?” Did you revert to a self-destructive cycle to numb the pain caused by believing you are not enough?
I’ve been there, in fact recently, and I’m sick and tired of hearing those lies. I believe it’s time to break the cycle!
I want to share with you four steps that I have learned to us to combat the lie, your not enough.
- Verbalize your thoughts and feelings of not enough to someone who knows, loves and cares about your well being. Verbalize your thoughts to God.
I know this one is hard because of fear and shame. We don’t want to look weak or give people the hint that we struggle with not being enough, so we stuff our feelings and try to hide them. The problem with this response is, your still held captive to those thoughts, they don’t go away.
I have learned that I am empowered when I confess those thoughts. I am not agreeing with them, I am exposing them.
- You are not enough, is a lie. You have to recognize this.
When you are attacked with the not enough lie, take that though captive and make it obey what God says about you. He is the one who created you, He knows you better than anyone else.
- Get your eyes off of yourself and redirect your attention on God.
When we are focused on all the areas we feel that we are not enough, we can never see the accurate picture of how we are really viewed. Psalms 34:5-7 says,
Gaze upon him, join your life with his, and joy will come. Your faces will glisten with glory. You’ll never wear that shame-face again. When I had nothing — desperate and defeated, I cried out to the lord and he heard me, bringing his miracle deliverance when I needed it most. The angels stooped down to listen as I prayed, encircling me, empowering me, and showing me how to escape. They will do this for everyone who fears God.
When we redirect our eyes and start focusing on who God is, our thoughts will change. By fixing your eyes on God you will not only be empowered to get out of the not enough rut, but you will begin to see yourself the way God sees you.
- Stop comparing yourself to others, it’s just not wise.
When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. 2 Corinthians 10:12
No two people are alike in their design or purpose, to compare yourself to another person only causes you to devalue yourself. This is a dangerous trap that I can easily fall into as a wife, mother, teacher and writer.
In no way is this the “say all” list for getting out of the not enough rut, but they are the steps that have proven to work for me and I hope they can help you too.
So what about you, do you have any helpful steps or words of wisdom you would like to share?