But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:10
I am weak! This has taken me some time to finally admit it, but I am weak. I used to get so angry and embarrassed if I felt weak in any area. Nobody really likes to confess they are weak because we begin to show we are vulnerable and vulnerability usually is scary for most of us.
This week I was reminded again how weak I was. I have been doing a bible study by Priscilla Shirer over Gideon (it’s a great study by the way) and in one of the days lessons she asked if there was an area where I felt depleted or deficient. The area I wrote down was time. Before beginning to write I felt like there was never enough time in the day to get all the things on my to do list done. Now God has called me to write this book and I have struggled with being anxious because the big looming question is “when am I going to have time?”
My need has been time and I have been trying on my own strength to get all of my work done, squeezing out all the time I could. Instead of having large portions of time to work on my book I have these small increments of time that I am trying to get all I can done. I have in turn begun to worry about my lack of time and progress for the rest of the day. This worry causes me to be distracted when I am trying to focus on my family. Sadly I have ended up being annoyed when my kids need my attention, after all can’t they see I have this book to write! The past two weeks I have been one crabby lady, to say the least!
I just have not trusted that God was going to supply the time. God in is great mercy opened my eyes to this area of weakness. He called me to this writing project and He has promised He would provide what I needed, that includes time. I just have not trusted that He would keep His word. I have been trying to work out of my own strength and have been failing. I have had a death grip on my time and God has been saying, “trust me, just open your hands and let me provide what you need.”
Can anyone relate with me? God calls you to trust him with something, maybe your finances, a strained relationship, your lack of time, or lack of direction and you just can’t seem to pry open you hand to let it go. We tend to think we can handle it, we just need God to help on the “big things.” Pride often keeps us from going to God for the power we need, we keep thinking, “I am strong, I can do this, I’m not weak, I got this.” We don’t want to see ourselves as weak because we equate weakness to failure. But if we don’t get God’s strength we will always ultimately fail. God wants to see us excel and He wants to empower with the greatest source of power. When our mindset is to operate out of our own strength instead of relying on Him, we will always come up depleted. One thing you can count on to be in full supply is anxiety, frustration and fear.
I love what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9 (refer to the beginning of the post). God tells Paul, “my power is perfected in your weakness.” When we stop trying to work out of our own strength then God can perfect his power in us!! So Paul then says, “He will more gladly boast so that Christ power rest on him.”
This week I found myself boasting to God, “I am weak!” “I don’t have enough time, I cannot get this done on my own, I need you and I need your strength.” Now I cannot say that God has made my days 26 hours instead of 24 hours like everyone else, but I can say that I have gotten everything done with writing that I needed to get done. He has given me insight as to what to write and when to write and peace that I have completed what I needed to complete. Even better I have been able to enjoy all of my time with my family with out my mind being distracted! God is so good!! This week He has provided the time I needed, the words I needed and the peace I needed! God does supply all we need!
Step back and stop trying to do things on your own, we are weak in comparison to God’s great power. Boast in your weakness, then let it go and open up your hands to receive what God want’s to provide!