Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a cures for us… Galatians 3:13
Recently my editors were going over the content in my book and found a section that needed to be developed more. It was a part that involved my parents response to the night that I told them that I had been sexually active. As my editors were asking questions about that night, I found myself resistant to pull that memory back up and go through it. Now all throughout my book I have gone through numerous memories and relived them in my mind and while writing God has met me in those memories and poured out his healing over my heart for those times. He has brought me freedom beyond what I could ever imagine, so I could not even figure out why I was resistant to relive this memory with my parents.
The night I told my parents that I had been sexually active, I was 16 years old at that time. I had been wrestling with so much guilt because I knew that what I did was wrong and my parents were going to be hurt and devastated with the information I knew I had to tell them. In my book I explained that my parents were angry and hurt and described the scene to the point that I could handle telling. My editors asked me this question, “Do you know what was going on in your parents minds that night and can you expound upon their thoughts.”
The night I did tell my parents about my sin my dad erupted and began yelling at me, my mom on the other hand had this shocked look upon her face and became quiet and lifeless. We all react in different ways when we are faced with a painful situation and my parents were each responding to me out of their pain. I felt like a disgusting failure that night. I was seeking out my parents forgiveness and I ended up getting wounded by their response. As my editors had me look back at this night I told them I didn’t want to go deeper in that matter because I felt like that if I shared anymore about my parents response I would be dishonoring them. This really was part of the reason, but when I began to think about it, I didn’t want to share anymore of that night because I was still hurting from my parents response.
When my dad erupted he said some hurtful statements that wounded me deeply and my mom didn’t say anything, she was numb and her silence made me feel alone. For years I thought that I had gotten over that night but now as I relived it I realized I was still wounded. So last week I talked with my parents and I finally asked them what was going on in their minds the night I told them I was no longer a virgin. I thought it might take my parents a few minutes to think back about their thoughts, but the second the question left my mouth my dad said, “I know exactly what I was thinking, I was angry at myself.” I asked him why he felt this way and he said, “I had made the same mistakes and I always prayed that you and your sister would not make the same mistakes I did.” “I was angry because I realized I had failed.” My mom said, “Jessica, I became silent because I was hurting. I always prayed that you would not make the same mistakes I had. I just knew you were going to be different and now you did exactly what I did.”
My parents had both struggled with sexual sin when they were younger and wanted so desperately to have their sexual sin stop with them. My parents then told me that in Exodus 20:5 it says, “I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and the fourth generations.” They had both read this scripture years ago and prayed that their sexual sins would stop with them. My parents felt that if they would pray enough for me and my sister and raise us in church that we would not commit the same sins. So the night I told my parents I had sex, they felt like they were responsible for my sin, they felt this sin was a generational curse, and they were angry because they felt like they had failed.
Have you ever done this? As a parent I know we each desire to have our children make better choices than we did. We want them to excel in everything far beyond what we ever could. But parents, do you blame yourself for your kids mistakes? When my parents told me that they felt my sexual sin was their fault, I had to disagree with them. My parents did the best they could in raising me. They loved me, took care of me, provided for me and nurtured me. They were not perfect but they did their best. I never felt like they were responsible for my mistakes.
When I made the choice to have sex that was all on my shoulders! I am the one who was the sinner not them. Even though Exodus 20:5 says that my parents sin is a generational curse, Exodus 20:5 does not trump Galatians 3:13!
“Christ redeemed us from the curse of the Law, having become a curse for us…”
Jesus is the one that breaks the curse!! Is anyone else exited about that?! God sent Jesus to nullify the law, which only brought death. God sent Jesus to be the hope for the future! God sent Jesus to stop the generational curse, to restore what the locust have destroyed, to bind up the broken hearted and to heal every wound!! Praise our great God!!! He is so good!
Where my parents lived so many years in fear of a curse, God had Jesus there the entire time, available as the source to break the curse! Yes my parents prayed, yes they raised us in church, yes they hoped for a different outcome for me and my sister, but my parents also were still living in fear and bondage to their past! My parents had not sought out freedom from the past. Yes they knew they were forgiven but they both never felt free.
Freedom from the past is when you no longer let your past condemn you. Freedom from the past is when the past does not have the same effect on you. The enemy is the one who holds your past up and shakes it in your face trying to remind you of who you used to be. God is the one who gives you a new life and does not identify you with your past! God identifies you with Christ. You have to decide who you are going to listen to. The enemy, your past and a curse do not have the power to over come the blood of Christ! Tapping into the freedom that Christ gives is what breaks the curse!
Jesus is available to break every curse! Freedom in Christ is the beginning to having the curse broken! So I want to ask you, is there a curse you see within your family? Go to God and let Him set you free from that sin, and then let Jesus break the curse. Is alcoholism the curse? It can stop with you- let Jesus set you free! Is anger the curse? It can stop with you- let Jesus set you free! Is sexual sin the curse? It can stop with you- let Jesus set you free! I stand confident in the freeing power of Jesus because I have seen it in my own life!
One more thing, as I talked with my parents last week about that night 19 years ago, God began to do a work in me as well! Since I was unaware of the wound that was still festering within my heart, as my parents spoke about what was going on in their minds at that time, God began to pour out a healing balm that made me finally see that night with clarity. The words that were spoken that wounded me and the loneliness I felt that night, that I had been carrying, began to fall off of me. I was able to extend forgiveness to my parents for that wound and I could feel that wound healing! For years I have felt this need to forgive my parents but I could never pinpoint what that was, last week God revealed it to me! God is beginning to restore what the locust had destroyed that night with my parents! Isn’t God so good!!