Your Win Is My Win: Why helping others win is Your biggest win

Most of us can weep with others, but rejoicing when someone is blessed is another issue. Lids on crab buckets are unnecessary because if one crab starts to crawl out of the bucket, the other crabs grab him and pull him back. — Bob Mumford

I read this quote a few weeks ago and it resonates with me — I don’t want to be a crab.

One of the hardest pills to swallow is to see someone else, perhaps a close friend even, get what you have so desperately wanted, or worked for. On the outside we may be telling them, “Congratulations” while on the inside we are brimming with envy.

An unchecked response, the crabby response, would be to rain on that persons parade. How dare they have a victory, that was mine!

You see this in jobs, relationships, finances, hobbies, and especially the church.

We all want to win, prosper/excel in our lives but do you know how contradictory it is to live in such a way that you purposely set others up for to win? But that is exactly what God calls us to.

This is the sign of relational maturity.

I typically think about Jonathan, King Saul’s son, regarding relational maturity. He was the heir to the throne, and this guy named David who worked for his dad,  is the man God has chosen and anointed to be the next king of Israel (you can read the entirety of the account starting in 1 Samuel 16 — 20).

If anyone had the right to act like a crab and pull David down, it would be Jonathan. But that wasn’t Jonathan’s response. Jonathan’s heart was not only tender towards God and His plans but his desire was to honor and please God. So he confidently trusted God, and continually set David up for a win.

So how was Jonathan about to respond in such a selfless way?

Jonathan lived like an heir not to his earthly father, but to his heavenly father. Jonathan didn’t fight God’s plans he partnered with God’s plans.

He knew God’s nature, He knew God’s heart.  Jonathan rested confidently in his identity as a fellow heir of God. He knew that God was a good father who was going to supply all of his needs as well, he knew God had a plan for him too.

Do you want to know how you and I can respond like Jonathan instead of crabs?

To live as an heir not a pauper.

When you live as an heir your focus is no longer dog eat dog, or crab pull down crab, but it’s knowing the nature and heart of your father and resting confidently in the promise that He has a win coming for you as well.

So may you live as a Jonathan today…

Be Blessed ~







  1. Laura

    Jess- this is a conversation I often replay in my head. I love this message and love even more that you shared them with me over coffee many months ago. Love you!

    • Jessica Wright

      Aww, thank you Laura! Im grateful for all of our conversations, you truly are a life-giving friend. I love you lady!

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